It Would Be Soooo Nice If Certain People Were Not So Passive Aggressive…

By: Teresa Simmons

(Contributor)

Hey ladies! As Mommies we need to be direct! It is, as they say and I quote “how the rubber meets the road”. So when you are involved with someone who is not as direct as you, it can be super frustrating. Am I right? I know I am because it recently happened to me!

Here is what happened.

To begin, let’s just say there is a certain someone in my life (we will call him “Bill”) who is like really close to my hubby William. I mean like super-duper close. Like if you talked to William sometimes you would think that you were talking to “Bill” like close. I am not saying that “Bill” is William, and vice versa, because I would NEVER criticize some one as perfect as William OBVIOUSLY is. Anyways, back to “Bill”.

“Bill” reading note I left in his laptop

He always gets passive-aggressive with me!

I mean the other day he said, and I quote, “look, I love you, but you need to stop leaving shit for me to read laying around the house. I can’t take a dump without a “friendly reminder” falling out of the toilet paper roll, for hells sake. Do you have any idea how frustrating that is? Why can’t you just tell me what you want me to do?”

Passive-aggressive much, “Bill”??

Anyway, I read an article about why “Bill” is so passive-aggressive with me. It said that when a certain person, who shall go now go nameless but who is also getting this left on his night stand, says something like, and I quote, “why do I always have to be the one who does the dishes, anyway? I have a job woman!”, that what they are really just saying “You obviously work harder than me, and I am afraid of you. I am also afraid of me and my imperfections”, or basically something along those lines.

So just because “Bill” may sound direct, it is really a passive-aggressive plea for help! Sound familiar ladies?

So I got super direct and wrote a letter to “Bill”. To give him time to think about it, and to avoid seeing him get frustrated, I taped it to the bathroom mirror. I also did this so he would see it first thing in the morning, but not so early that I would still be there. I was very direct in this note and said, and I quote,

“Honey my bunches? You need to stop being so passive-aggressive already, but I still love you! I left you an article on your nightstand, which you say you hate, but I know you are just expressing your anger in the only way you know how. If you are not too busy later to care about our relationship, it would be great if you read it.

I know this will hurt your feelings some, and you may want to discuss this right away but I will be out doing Mommy things. Trust me, I wish I could be there when you read it. It must be absolutely AMAZING to be able to sleep in like that! But we can talk about it when you finally decide that family is important enough to come home from work.

P.S. Are you going to the store today to get dog food after work? Love you!”

I know he read this because I lied about doing Mommy things. I was hiding in the one place I know he would never look: The broom closet! I heard a few doors slam before he left, The whole time he screamed, and I quote “when did we ever talk about getting fucking dog food? Good hell!”

Of course we need dog food. If someone would ever put a plate in the dish washer he would know that because, yup you guessed it, there is a perfect good shopping list taped to the machine. But apparently that is another chore that is left for me!

I know it is going to take some time for him to learn to be more direct with me. But maybe it is with a little gentle prodding in the right direction, that he will come around. What do you say ladies? Is a certain person in your life also passive-aggressive and what do you do about it?