So Your Hubby Will Never Be More Than A God-damned Cashier at Lowe’s…
by Olivia Johnston (Contributor)
Hey ladies, we all know that when we got married, we all had visions of riding off into the sunset on a golden chariot. Next thing you know, little ones pop out and so do our waistlines! But we all hope that our hubby finally becomes the man he promised to be. But what if he can’t?
Or a better question to ask is, what if he says he can’t? No amount of prodding will get your hypothetical Steve off the couch after work. You shake your head at him; intimate that you are having an affair; or say that you just want to snuggle! And nothing seems to work! Well ladies, you are all here for a reason! You want solutions and I got em’! Here is what I did to turn an underperforming couch potato into my future Captain of Chariots.
Last year I asked my hubby one day if he liked being someone who can barely scrape by; has to work every Summer holiday; and even if he did get the day off; has little money to do anything else but order pizza from Little Caesar’s for family time on the patio. On most months, we can barely pay the bills! And he works for 50 hours a week. It is not fair that he tries so hard, but gets so little.
So I decided that I owed it to my precious Lil’ Ones that I keep building Daddy up by letting him know that he was not remotely close to being the man he can be! He is such a hard worker, that it is not fair he isn’t getting paid more. Most day’s he sighed, and other day’s he growled like a bear, but I could see that I was making progress. I kept at it! I was not going to stop until he realized that he could always do more!
And this is the most important part: DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOUR HUBBY! It is your job to let him know that he can become so much more until you get to a break through! I have kept this positive reinforcement up for months! Even on those rare days off that he would get from working, I would still shower positive prodding on to him! I know right? But being a positive reinforcement person is hard work! I know it is easy to give up, but you can’t. If he is awake and you are not positively reinforcing him, then you need to do better. Like I say in all my scrumptious food posts with instructions how to create the dishes that I am showing you, “stick to the recipe!” And before you say “no”, then keep on reading on…
Because I have exciting news! I think I finally reached him tonight! You know our Hubby’s are not always as good as us Mommy’s at expressing our feel-bads, am I right? Sometimes it can take an entire season of our wonderful lives to positively support your Hubby into being even better! Then a miracle happened! He stood up and I could tell he had been crying. All it took was a little more gentle prodding (I whispered “you should do better, you should do better” over and over again,) and those few tears became the Niagra Fall’s. He said “listen! I am trying my best okay? And why can’t you work!!?”
Yeah he went there! But it was okay because I was finally reaching him. So instead of reminding him that being a stay-at-home Mommy was “the hardest job in the world!”, I looked my Steven (I call my hubby by his first name when it is serious), in his swollen eyes and calmly said “Steven…I know that you can’t possibly do any more. You obviously are ALL that you will ever be! And know what? I don’t care! I love you regardless if you never make a single nickel more, and will never, not in 1 Million years ever, until the day you die before me (statistically) ever, never, EVER, leave you!”
That is when I saw my Hubby cry like I have not seen since our 1st year of putting this tribe together because he loved our lil’ one Skyler’s Mommy so much he sold his guitar so she could sleep! I think he then realized (like then) that the most important thing was our happiness! And in his gruffy Steve way then said with resolve in his eyes , “I am going to knock over a God-damned bank if I have to!”.
I screamed in joy.
“You go my sweet hubby! I hope you walk up to that boss, demand a raise, and hopefully we will have enough money to knock over many banks (with how rich we are!)”. His tears then dried up, he put on his hat, and he said “see you in 5 to 10! It is time to get some God-damned money or die trying so this family can apparently have more of me!” I have not seen him so energetic to do something in years! But what he doesn’t know is that when he gets home in 5 to 10 hours that boy is he ever in for a big surprise! I won’t get into details but let’s just say I turned up the volume on the Lil One’s TV super loud wink wink…
Anyway ladies! I would love to share more but it is Girl Scout cookie season and some scrumptious Tagalog’s are a ringing at my doorbell right now! They are screaming for me to rush down and buy them! I better get moving! Take care ladies! Best of luck in you making your Hubby into the best Hubby he can be!
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