Breaking News! Poorly Worded Reply About Brunch Leads To Irreparable Rift
Hastings, NE
According to sources, a standard text conversation about Sunday brunch has led to an irreparable rift between Dwayne’s Mommy Betty and Huey’s Mommy Alysha. While it was immediately unclear what exactly led to hostilities, it has become abundantly clear that Huey’s Mommy Alysha escalated the issue by unceremoniously dropping the “F”, “B”, and “C” words in a series of texts effectively destroying any future efforts to salvage brunch.
Mommys4Mommys has obtained transcripts of said text message. But before releasing this message, we must warn readers that the implied hostility of the message below is graphic in nature and should not be viewed by those unskilled in deciphering the real meaning behind text messages.
We would also like to add that, for simplicity sake, Dwayne’s Mommy Betty will hereafter be referred to as DMB, and Huey’s Mommy Alysha will be referred to as HMA. By doing so we mean no disrespect to their hubby’s Betty’s Hubby Jackson, or Alysha’s Hubby Derek. The abbreviations are being used, for no other reason, than to optimize the real estate on the page for the remainder of this article.
To further clarify our intentions, our founder, and expert Mommy Blogger, Tristan’s Mommy Jen, insisted on releasing the following statement prior to publishing.
“The safety of our employees, and our customer’s, is our absolute number 1 priority. During this difficult time, we understand that there are a lot of sources of media that are offered, and we are grateful that you have chosen Mommies4Mommies.com to be your source of Amazing Articles, Mommy Matters, and news relevant to the modern Mommy.
While we do our very best to accurately describe the familial order of relations between the party’s that we cover, we ask our readers to understand that this is not always possible. I personally reached out to both Betty’s Hubby Jackson AND Alysha’s Hubby Derek prior to publication of this article, and both parties graciously said, and I quote, “sure, whatever…” in approving the content of this article.
We are happy to receive your feedback and have made every effort possible to listen, and to be a positive force for change and inclusivity of all Mommy’s and Daddy’s. Because of this feedback, we have also made the following changes to our editorial process:
- Words which begin with a “c” and end with “nt”, and have a length of 4 letters, will have the 1st vowel represented by a “*” sign.
- Similarly, words which begin with an “f” and end with “ck” will also have the 1st vowel represented by a “*” sign.
- At this time, this will not include 4 letter words beginning with consonants other than “c” or “f”, except for the word “cuck”, as we are not sure if that is a real word or not. Examples of acceptable words include, but are not limited to, “puck”, “duck”, “luck”, “punt”, “runt”, and “hunt”.
It is incumbent for everyone to remember that we are ALL in this together, and we look forward to resuming normal naming conventions as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience as we navigate these difficult times! And though we greatly respect and honor those with differing, or non-existent, religious beliefs, God Bless!”
Text Conversation
HMA 7:47 AM: “Hey girl! What do you think about brunch this Sunday?!?!? I hear they will be serving duck.”
HMA 8:49 AM: “Hey girl! Not sure if you saw my text about brunch! So do you want to go or what? 😉”
DMB 9:50 AM: “Fine! Sounds great! We are at the game. Lil’ One Dwayne is about to punt!”
HMA 9:50 AM: “Fine?!? You know what? F*ck you! If you don’t want to go you can just say so. You don’t have to be a c*nt about it! I asked like an hour ago!!”
DMB 9:58 AM: “?”
HMA 9:52 AM “You are such a b*tch!! No wonder your hubby feels like a cuck! You are awful!”
DMB 9:52 AM “Okay, whatever… Take care…”
*This is a developing story. Updates will be made if more information becomes available….”
Editors Note: It has since come to our attention that the word “cuck” refers to the act of a hubby watching his significant other have Mommy and Daddy time with another person while the hubby watches. Until we can verify that this is really a thing, the word “cuck” will also have the 1st vowel substituted with a “*” going forward.
We sincerely apologize to those in the “cuck” community, assuming it exists, and by redacting this word going forward, in no way whatsoever make disparaging judgement towards anyone engaging in alleged practices.
We take great pains in ensuring that our sight is free from hate, judgement, prejudice, or anything else icky like that.
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