Breaking News: Mommy Consoling Friend, Beginning To Wonder If/When They Will Ever Get To The Scissoring Part
by: Patricia “Pat” Knudsen
Scottsdale, AZ
Neisha’s Mommy Carol knew the phone had a sad tone when it rang. It was her bestie and Ian’s Mommy Trisha on the other end of her phone. Her friend needed her, so she did what everyone else would do. She took a shower, found something modest yet sexy to wear, sprayed a spritz of high-end perfume, and immediately crossed the street to talk to her friend. Apparently her friend suspected that her hubby, Ian’s Daddy Steve was being distant lately and was stressed about work.
She also suspected that he may be watching pornographic videos on the VR headset. When she confronted him she said he was watching Sports highlights. He didn’t even consider that the speaker was on and everyone within 3 feet could perfectly hear what it was.
It seemed like a simple enough problem to solve. “Buck up, Chin up, and Blow” am I right ladies? Get some money, put your chin up, and blow that money! It is an easy way to address the problem in 15 minutes, have some Nescafe for comfort, and then scissor for 30 minutes, am I right?
But apparently not this time. It probably didn’t work because Ian’s Mommy Trisha is poor. The conversation has been ongoing now for nearly an hour, and the complaints seem to be becoming circular. He doesn’t pay attention, she gets sad, so he pays less attention, he watches porn, she calls her sister, makes some muffins, washes the dog, then she gets sadder blah blah blah blah blah. Neisha’s Mommy Carol tried everything in the book but nothing worked. Not brushing her hand lightly over hers, unbuttoning the top button on her blouse, biting her lip, etc.
She even tried interjecting once or twice.
“Look. I am really sorry about all you are going through, but are we ever going to get to the sciss…”
“What does he see in them? I am hot!”
“Yes you are. In fact I want to enjoy every squ…”
“He doesn’t even like sports!”
Sighhhhh…..
Neisha’s Mommy Carol was last seen pouring a glass of wine, dimming the lights, and looking impatiently at her watch because she had to pick up Neisha from Soccer practice in 2 hours. While the tension did seem to drop for a moment when Ian’s Mommy Trisha gave Neisha’s Mommy Carol a long embracive hug, followed by a long passionate stare, as of this report, this has not yet devolved into a long, intense, and much needed stress relieving scissoring session for either party.
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